The Apathetic Me

I was once an activist. In my first two years in college, I join rallies, voice my leftist opinion regarding human rights, criticize the government and think that communism is the answer to the ills of our society.

I didn't know what happened but I just woke up one day and found out that my passion for being an activist has been lost. My views changed in just a small span of time and I can't find any apparent reason why it happened - I no longer see any good in joining rallies. I now think it is just a waste of time and effort since no one's going to listen anyway. I also became aloof with my former leftist friends. I see them now as hypocrites. I am guessing that few years after graduation, when they are already feeling the qualms of their stomachs, they will give up fighting and end up applying for a job in a transnational company that they once criticize. I now defend the government like it is an institution that knows no red tape. I even hate those academicians who can't stop opposing the government and saying bad things about it. If those people are so wise and they know what to do in order for the Philippines to be saved, why are we still a third world country? Why can't we progress? I now perceive human rights as something abstract. something so intangible and something which is devised to persuade people to fight those in power. The word "right" is now overrated. Even animals have a "right". I sometimes think that the manequins in shopping malls will have that so-called "right" too in the near future.
These sudden changed in my ideas bother me. Being a leftist makes me alive before. Now that I no longer have the passion for such left things, I am still alive but I have this fear. A fear that bearing the conservative and rightist makes me a traitor to the belief that I once have before - I fear that I might wake up one day and realize that I am already one of those apathetic people walking around the country and chasing the wrong things.