Hierarchy of Needs

I know I have no right to judge anyone base on how they feel of things but these questions are really bugging me since I was in high school. Up to now, it is still unresolved. I have figured out things to answer it but I know that my answers are too one-sided.

A lot (I said A LOT! Not ALL) of Filipino films and telenovela are depicting poor people as happier than those who are richer than them. The poor family, having nothing to eat, is bonded and doing their shares inside the household with smiles on their faces and respect with their mother and father. On the other hand, the rich family has everything and yet they barely have quality time together, the mother will meet her amigas, the father is either too busy with his work or with his queridas while their children are free to roam around the city and do whatever they want. If we think about it, these depictions might not be true. It can be just a media tool to pacify the poor in our society - To give them an edge compared to the rich; the poor are depicted as happier than the rich.

Another thing I notice is this: the cliché statements "Eh ano kung mahirap lang tayo… masaya naman tayo" or "Hindi natin kaylangan ng pera para maging masaya." might just be statements of "sourgraping" by the poor. How can one say that he is fully satisfied and happy when in fact he/she did not even know if he will still survive the hunger that's been bugging him/her for days? How can one beggar sleeping on the sidewalk, fearing that his life might be taken by some rugby boys be happier than the man sleeping in a five-star hotel pent house? How can one, deprive of all the basic needs in life, deprive of the security that the government should give him, be happy and satisfied when in fact, according to Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, one needs to fulfill his basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing and security first before advancing into the next stages and before achieving happiness and satisfaction which is placed, if I am not mistaken, on the top of the pyramid? Survival comes first before anything.

No matter how many times people say that money can't buy everything and that the best things in life are free, at the end of the day, one will always seek to be richer in order to be happier. In the first place, the basic needs in order to survive require one to have money.

The Apathetic Me

I was once an activist. In my first two years in college, I join rallies, voice my leftist opinion regarding human rights, criticize the government and think that communism is the answer to the ills of our society.

I didn't know what happened but I just woke up one day and found out that my passion for being an activist has been lost. My views changed in just a small span of time and I can't find any apparent reason why it happened - I no longer see any good in joining rallies. I now think it is just a waste of time and effort since no one's going to listen anyway. I also became aloof with my former leftist friends. I see them now as hypocrites. I am guessing that few years after graduation, when they are already feeling the qualms of their stomachs, they will give up fighting and end up applying for a job in a transnational company that they once criticize. I now defend the government like it is an institution that knows no red tape. I even hate those academicians who can't stop opposing the government and saying bad things about it. If those people are so wise and they know what to do in order for the Philippines to be saved, why are we still a third world country? Why can't we progress? I now perceive human rights as something abstract. something so intangible and something which is devised to persuade people to fight those in power. The word "right" is now overrated. Even animals have a "right". I sometimes think that the manequins in shopping malls will have that so-called "right" too in the near future.
These sudden changed in my ideas bother me. Being a leftist makes me alive before. Now that I no longer have the passion for such left things, I am still alive but I have this fear. A fear that bearing the conservative and rightist makes me a traitor to the belief that I once have before - I fear that I might wake up one day and realize that I am already one of those apathetic people walking around the country and chasing the wrong things.

Love is a euphemism of the word reciprocity

We all have our different definition of love. Some define it as blind, some say it's like a river and other perceive it other views. Among these definitions, only one definition is passable to my taste, and that is... Love is a euphemism of the word reciprocity. Love is just a term to euphemize the word exchange. People love and give love because they want something in return. They are expecting that something might be given to them. That something may not come in the form the same as what he/she has given but the point is, he/she still receives something when he/she has given out love.

I don't intend to persuade anyone, I just want to spill out my view. This is what I firmly believe in. If you have objections, feel free. Just don't attack me as a person. I do not believe that there is an altruist somewhere who is willing to give love to the world without asking for anything as a payment. In the first place, the concept of "I Love You Too" wouldn't be built if love doesn't ask for something in return.

Let us start the arguments by pointing out that by the people that say they are in love, they must have someone or something to divert that feeling to. It can be a person, an object or a virtual being. It cannot exist when you are alone. For by that instance, no mutualism can happen. No exchange between the two sides can exist. Of course you can love yourself but you still have to divert your feeling of love to a person, the only difference is that, you are that person. Love is also a selfish thing. It only hides under the guise of being unselfish. Now, why do we share love if it is selfish? It is because people understand that their selfish ends wouldn't be attained if they do not cooperate with other beings/objects as the receiver and giver of actions.

I will cite some example why I think that love is just a euphemism of the word reciprocity. Parents "love" their children because they are the ones who will tell the world that they are great. If their children become achiever, then it will reflect to them. They can always brag about how great their children are and how hard it is to take care of him/her when he/she was still a child. They give love so that in the future, they will receive a manifestation of themselves in their children. Another thing about parents is that they take care of their children because of the anticipation that they are the ones who will take care of them when they grow old. They are giving love while they are still young so that when they are already incapable of taking care of themselves, someone is going to look out for them.

As for relationships of two persons in love, mutualism makes bonds among people stronger. Notice that mutualism is the strongest relationship when it comes to interdependence. Person 1 and person 2 love each other because they are either complement each other or see something that other person cannot give them. People stay together because they either need companion, intimacy or happiness. Some people's relationship break apart because they feel that there is something lacking, they are already unhappy with the relationship. Also, take notice that in a relationship where there is an unequal share of love between two persons, like for example, if Person A loves Person B more than Person B loves Person A, then chance is for Person B to be the boss in the relationship so to compensate the costs that he/she is giving to that relationship. Otherwise, Break-up happen when a person the relationship is not working well, meaning, and one person is left out or having a feeling of not being included.

In case of sacrificial love, that happened not because the person who sacrificed is an altruist. It happened because of some motives in the one who surrender. He/She might think that he/she will feel guilty if he/she doesn't do anything. The result of that sacrifice will give him/her a feeling of contentment and security afterwards. Security, in the sense that he/she wouldn't feel any guilt at all; and contentment, because people will see him/her as some kind of a hero.

To conclude this, I still want to argue that Love is a euphemism of the word reciprocity. By reciprocity, I mean, exchange. When you love someone, you love him/her because you need him/her and you want something in return. It is a give and take relationship therefore, it only happens when there are parties involve, not when you are alone. The moral lesson? We should think critical of things.